One of the most confusing things I’ve faced at IDF this year has been Intel’s codenames. Yes, the chips and circuits and what-have-yous are all a bit bewildering at times, but trying to keep Clarksfield straight from Clarksdale is a challenge worthy of the most experienced Intel followers.

This week, Intel has unveiled Moorsetown, Sodaville, Clarksfield (or is that dale?) and shown off Larrabee, Sandy Bridge and Light Peak. Arrandale and Clarksdale are set to arrive later, and there’s something called Medfield, I think. (Check out the codename list here.)

Every firm gives its products codenames before they’re officially branded; you need to call it something in the meantime, afterall. But there’s so much happening at Intel, and the codenames only partially have a logic to them — which is worse than no logic at all — and you need to know the existing codes to get the launches and the next gen, so it can all get a bit mind boggling.

But it seems Intel is perfectly used to making up names for no good reason. Hanging around the Moscone Centre in San Francisco this week, I saw talks from Mooly, Ticky, and Dadi. I assumed these were just their names. Intel employs people from around the world, so it’s not unreasonable to think that those were actually their real names.

They’re not. Mooly is really Shmuel Eden, Ticky is actually named Shreekant Thakkar, and Dadi is the exotic David Perlmutter.

As if the codenames weren’t confusing enough, they’ve coded their staff, too.

At IDF this week, Intel’s people keep harping on about how Moore’s Law is still alive, that increasing performance is still relevant. (Should Moore’s Law stop working so well for them, I’m not sure where that leaves Gordon Moore, as he’s still kicking around somewhere.)

While I’d very much like to see faster, better processing — who wouldn’t? — I have a personal complaint about two other computing issues: battery life and overheating.

You see, my shiny MacBook is burning my legs if I leave it on my lap too long, which is rather unavoidable as I sit in conference sessions attempting to bash keynote speeches into readable notes on my computer. While I’d love to balance it on something else, sitting on the ground is kind of frowned upon, and I’m pretty sure the dude sitting in front of me might take umbrage if I use is shoulders in such a way.

On the upside, the battery keeps running out, so at least that makes the burning stop. It’s not so great when I’m actually trying to take notes on my Mac, leaving me with pen and paper and a very smug Darien Graham-Smith, PC Pro’s tech editor who happens to be sitting next to me with a shiny Acer that lasts longer than an excited teenager the first time he gets laid, unlike my computer.

So while everyone else might be filled with excitement at the many performance graphs, it’s the ones about cutting leakage so batteries last longer that make me happy. I’d be totally ecstatic if I could stop make the battery hog sitting on my lap stop burning me…

To wrap up my blogging from VMworld, here’re some of the numbers being tossed around the conference…

Three - the number of years Microsoft’s virtualisation tech is behind, according to VMware CEO Paul Maritz.

16 - the percentage of servers that are now virtualised, according to COO Tod Nielsen.

$29.99 - the cost to download Wyse’s PocketCloud, to get your Windows desktop on your iPhone.

30 - the number of Fortune 1000 companies which don’t use VMware software in anyway. So the other 970 do.

74 - the number of marriages saved by IT pros using vMotion, with the time savings letting them go home to their spouses , according to letters sent to CTO Stephen Herrod.

12,488 - the number of attendees at this year’s VMworld. Down from last year, but hey, there’s still a recession in the US.

357,151 - the number of customers who have downloaded vSphere 4 since its launch 12 weeks ago.

500,000 - the number of customers using the free ESX hypervisor.

Don’t want to know - weight gained surviving off of Pepsi and cookies in the press lounge.

Click here for more news from VMworld 2009.

Day Twos at VMworlds are always the most entertaining. You see, on Day One not only is there so much news I run around alternating between stressed and bored (hey, some partnership announcements are pretty dull, okay?) but it kicks off with a keynote from CEO Paul Maritz.

As a speaker, Maritz is just fine. He often sounds on the verge of laughing, which I like, but he also ends up presenting the most boring stuff (see partnership announcements above).

But Day Two gets the Tech Keynote from CTO Stephen Herrod. As Herrod noted this morning, that means he gets to talk about the cool stuff and be a bit more light hearted. It’s not often you get to laugh in conference keynote speeches (unless its Steve Ballmer, and then that’s usually nervous laughter) but Herrod is actually pretty funny, and he gets to geek out.

So while Martiz droned on yesterday about clouds and partnerships and zzzzzzzzz oaksfdjawekns *snore* — wait, sorry, I fell asleep there — Herrod gets to talk about mobile virtualisation and long-distance vMotions and self-destructing virtual machines. (Okay, I admit that might be boring to some, but hey, you are reading IT PRO here.)

Anyway, that long introduction is mostly to acknowledge that VMware has finally — a whole, long day in — started talking about client. Sure, clouds are interesting to some, but virtualising mobile phones is what I find most intriguing.

While Herrod and his VMware pals admitted virtualised mobile phones are some way off, they also suggested at least one manufacturer is talking about putting a hypervisor on its handset. Why is this cool? It means you can run two OSes at once, and even run one platform’s apps without running that plaform — like Android apps on an iPhone. Okay, that’s not likely to happen anytime soon, if ever, but it’s an intriguing theory.

Some of my fellow journos and analysts scoffed at the idea. They’re not wrong — why would a handset maker or an operator ditch cash on such a project — but they’re missing the point of day two: shiny, exciting tech.

Business cases are for day one. Day two is about “ooh, shiny” — no matter how unlikely it is to go commerical.

Click here for news from VMworld 2009.

I’ve spent the past day at VMworld, VMware’s annual show. Previous years - and even the European sideshow - have been marked with big announcements, so far this one has been pretty tame. (And as most announcements happen the first day, I don’t expect that will change.)

In fact, the announcements have all been about solidifying VMware’s base. There’s been a few about moving into the SMB market, as VMware has traditionally been more focused - and too expensive - for smaller companies. There’s also been a few channel and partner announcements, showing how the ecosystem is evolving.

And it is evolving… into cloud computing. CEO Paul Maritz seems to have mentioned the cloud more than virtualisation so far. While the cloud is the big shiny new buzz word for the moment, virtualisation is about much more than just pushing computing to the cloud, so it seems a bit strange that this year’s focus is so entirely on the cloud. Where’s the news about desktops or mobile?

No, this year, VMware’s head is in the clouds.

Are you at the show? Do you think the cloud focus is a bit much? Let us know in comments below…

Click here for more news from VMworld 2009.