Spending a weekend sitting in the dark at a horror movie festival should have been a welcome break from the world of technology, but sadly, mobile phones are totally inescapable now. If it’s not the guy sitting behind you hastily trying to figure out which pocket his phone is in so he can turn it off before it completely ruins the ambience, it’s the daft characters in yet another daft slasher movie complaining that, shockingly, they’ve got no signal out here in the bayou/backwoods/up a tree/in a swamp/in the middle of an Arctic Tundra.

There was actually a film on about what would happen if all the world’s electronics decided to transmit a signal that would send us all crazy. But I digress.

I was actually going to write a list of inventions I wish I had. Because I’m a grumpy old spoilsport. So here they are:

- A device to turn off someone else’s mobile phone - useful not only in cinemas but also on buses

- A device to turn down the sound in the cinema because Sam Rockwell is SHOUTING really LOUDLY again about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING because it’s not scary, but wow, is it LOUD

- A free-paper-giver-outter-repeller

- A non-stop caffeine dispenser that doesn’t break down when you need it most (cinema coffee machine: why must you forsake me?)

I’d also like a fast forward button for when movies really, really suck, but I think my fellow cinemagoers might have something to say about that.

So, the iPhone’s been hacked, huh?

Maybe I’ve just watched too many Hollywood blockbusters, but I kind of love stories about things blowing up. (As long as no-one gets hurt, obviously.) So the ongoing story about the Sony laptop batteries which had something wrong with them that caused them to explode entirely captured my imagination. But the joke’s worn a bit thin because the problem with lithium-ion batteries hasn’t gone away, even though that one faulty batch should really have been sorted out and disposed of by now.

Japanese scientists are now saying that there’s something fundamentally wrong with the way lithium ion batteries are manufactured; that the safety standards batteries have to conform to simply aren’t stringent enough.

At the moment, electrodes within lithium-ion batteries are submerged in an organic solvent which acts as an electrolyte, and separates them with a layer of film. That system obviously allows for faults to occur, as in the case of the Sony batteries. But the experts in Tokyo reckon there is an alternative and safer way of making batteries, involving a solid polymer electrolyte. The problem now will be convincing factories that their current methods aren’t good enough, and that the risk is great enough that they really need to do things differently.

It all sounds so clinical and far-off when you talk about it like that, but… these are the batteries inside our laptops and mobile phones we’re talking about. Can we really afford to use potentially dangerous technology in our everyday lives? Something tells me the explosions wouldn’t be nearly so exciting if they were happening in my house.

So, Sophos has revealed that people give out way too much personal data on Facebook - it set up a sting operation in the form of a fake profile for a plastic frog, and set out to make as many friends as possible. And of the invites the frog sent out, nearly 90% buddied up with the amphibian.

How long is it going to take before people realise that putting personal information on the Internet might be dangerous? Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. For some reason, people seem to feel like Facebook is safer than MySpace and that they can give out more information (up to and including their real work and home addresses, e-mail addresses and telephone numbers) and nothing bad will come of it.

Let’s be clear here. If you fill out your profile fully, with all your real information, you had better be pretty damned sure that you really know everyone on your friends list, and that the information is restricted to only people you’ve accepted as friends. Otherwise, you will find yourself a victim of identity theft at some point. It’s crazy to think otherwise.

And a plastic frog..? Come on, people.

Considering I’ve written two blog entries here about the right royal mess LonelyGirl15’s creators made of trying to make a living off a web-based drama series, it seems only fair to comment about how well they seem to be doing with Kate Modern.

The difference between the two series is striking, actually. LonelyGirl15 started off small, with little fanfare, making the news when someone worked out Bree wasn’t a real person, and then pootling along quite happily without making much money for a while - eventually, merchandise went on sale, advertising was added, and a few deals were struck concerning product placement and online partnerships. Just before season 1 came to an end, LG15 finally came up with something to offer their advertisers that no-one else could: a sponsored character. Spencer Gilman, a new friend for the LonelyGirl15 characters, was sponsored by Neutrogena; his character was a scientist who worked for the company. Nice.

Kate Modern, by contrast, started off with an exclusive Bebo deal, meaning the videos are hosted there before they show up anywhere else. Using a social networking site has also meant that the characters can interact even more fully with their fans - a pretty clever move. Whereas none of the actors in LonelyGirl15 were recognisable, Kate Modern co-stars Ralf Little, of The Royle Family fame. And as a result of that, it’s been featured on Richard and Judy, plus, yesterday, in thelondonpaper. Product placement deals have also already been sorted out, and the Kate Modern site, associated with the LG15 site, was launched complete with its own ready-made forums.

It also looks to be a much more grown-up and slicker production. Is this the future of television? Meh, probably not, but it’s quite fun anyway.

Meanwhile, out there in the big bad world of Web 2.0, various advertisers have gotten their knickers in a twist and pulled advertising from Facebook - because their adverts might have been shown alongside a profile for the BNP.

My own personal political beliefs aside, this is royally stupid. If you sign up to advertise on a site with user generated content, you need to sacrifice a certain measure of control. That’s just the way it works. And most users of such sites know the deal, too; they know the advertising is rolled out across the entire site and can’t be controlled by the advertisers,. There’s no reason to assume that advertisers support particular political parties, any more than there is reason to believe they want to associate themselves with any group or individual with a profile on that site.

Facebook is already facing multiple lawsuits from people who believe their patents have been infringed, so this just seems like a further slap in the face for the still-beloved social networking site. We can only hope some of their advertisers will see sense.