The fun never ends when you’re me. Having finally moved house and almost completely unpacked, I came down with some kind of space virus - and, of course, having only just moved to my new flat, I hadn’t managed to register with a doctor yet. Luckily, my wireless connection had been set up, so I could use my Google-fu to track down the nearest doctor’s surgery to my house. (What Google Maps didn’t tell me, sadly, was that the nearest surgery was at the top of a hill. My symptoms included being tired all the time, being short of breath, and having a nasty, burning cough. A 0.65 mile walk up a hill was not what I most wanted in the world on Friday morning, I have to say!)

Skipping over various amounts of hilarious slapstick comedy involving bureaucracy and my inability to memorise maps correctly: I finally got registered with a doctor yesterday. And was diagnosed with laryngitis. Since there aren’t any drugs for this, I’ve basically got to inhale steam with a towel over my head, drink lots of water, rest, and … not talk.

That last part is killing me. See, I can talk - my voice is all crackly and occasionally drops three octaves or comes out in an unexpected whisper, but I can move my lips and tongue and make sound come out more or less normally, and more or less intelligibly. But I’m not supposed to. The alternatives I’ve tried so far involve the following:

- Sending messages on Facebook
- Sending e-mails (occasionally to my boyfriend, while he’s in the room)
- Writing on bits of paper
- Inventing my own sign language

However! I’ve just discovered this, a demo version of IBM’s Websphere Voice text-to-speech software. I can type almost as fast as I can speak, so, assuming I don’t want to move from my desk chair for the next couple of days, this might be the winner.

Or I’ll probably just give up and talk, because I clearly can’t be trusted with anything like my own health. Pfft.

(On the bright side, my new doctor has an online way to book appointments and request repeat prescriptions. Why don’t all doctors have this? That’s brilliant!)