Porn in the workplace. Who’s worried about it? Not enough large corporations with expensive, big-city offices, in my experience. And no, I’m not a prude, before you ask. Neither am I a kill joy. I spend most working days dumpster diving on other people’s hard drives, for heaven’s sake. Believe me, you need a sense of humour. A strong stomach also helps. 

Not that I mind porn per se, you understand. So long as it’s adult, legal and on someone else’s computer. If that someone happens to be my client, though, I’m obviously obliged to tell them. In the first place, I assume they’re paying their employees to work at work and not spend hours surfing for extra-curricular entertainment. In the second, I assume they don’t want those kinds of pictures on their machines.

The initial horrified reaction to my glad tidings usually confirms these assumptions, particularly the second - an astonishing number of people remain unaware that content viewed in web browsers helpfully stores itself away on the computer itself. But the shock softens all too quickly. Usually within 48 hours in a predominantly male work environment. Now, I’m not entirely blaming the chaps, here, but once the HR department scrapes itself off the ceiling and informs management, the waters have a noticeable habit of stilling themselves. Since, statistically, most high-powered departmental heads are men, I can only surmise that a laddish blind eye is being turned. The culprit will get a nasty wrist slapping and that’s about it.

So what’s wrong with that? Sadly, a great deal. The biggest of which is the Protection of Children Act, 1978, as amended. What people fail to take on board is that, under this Act, a child is anyone under 18. Furthermore, taking, making, possessing, distributing or publishing any indecent photograph of a child is illegal.

And an image of a 17-year-old in a compromising situation on your computer potentially constitutes both the ‘making’ and ‘possession’ of such a photograph.

If you’re not scared yet, you should be. Especially if your employees are surfing so-called ‘Teen’ porn sites. Who, hand on heart, can really tell the difference between a well developed 13-year-old and a normal 18-year-old girl? I’m a woman and the mother of a daughter and I’m damned if I can. I don’t fancy most men’s chances.

Mentioning the ‘P’ word has the tendency to turn clients into quivery wrecks but I will, do and actually must report images I believe to be illegal. Where there’s doubt, I issue this warning: Come the day the corporate shenanigans you called me in to investigate becomes a federal case, expect big trouble. If the police find something they don’t like on a suspect hard drive, you’re looking at anything from one computer being seized to all of them. The whole office. Gone.

Think about it. Then update and implement your Acceptable Use Policy. Please.