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Dave F's Blog

Unable to Post for Health and Safety Reasons

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in Funny, Blogs, Wireless on July 25, 2008 at 9:18 am

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I won’t be blogging for a week or so as I’m off on my hols. Last year I was told the place I was going had WiFi so I bought a wifi adaptor especially to surf whilst away. However, when I got there they said “We were putting it in but weren’t allowed because of health and safety”.
I recently heard that the first step to wisdom was to stop blaming others and to accept the blame yourself. The second step is to realise no one is to blame. Wise words (except when obviously someone IS to blame) but I can’t remember where I heard them - possibly Kung Fu Panda!
Anyway, my point is that Heath and Safety has taken over from computers as the excuse of choice. Something we love to hate and are powerless against makes the best scapegoat. I guess we should be glad we have them to blame, in less technical times and places it has been the Jews or the Hutus…
Maybe Kung Fu Panda had a point.

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Accomodating Company Travellers

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in the company on July 23, 2008 at 5:11 pm

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There’s been a load of fuss about MP’s expenses and their “second homes”. I don’t really understand this. Bizarrely for a the London Centric media no one seems to be saying what about the MP’s who live here already? Plenty of  people commute from my area - no company would fund moving expenses let alone second home expenses if they offered me a job in Westminster. In fact my lovely company didn’t offer me expenses to travel / move when they closed my local office. It was work from home or fund your own 5 hour commute (or take statutory redundancy).
Anyway, back to MP’s. Because it is potentially a short job (although 5 years is longer than most peoples contracts these days) and because some work is in the constituency and some in London they get funded for a second home. Why not just set up furnished flats which the country owns and lend them out?

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The perfect interface - until you let a user near it!

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in Funny, music, Coding on July 21, 2008 at 3:29 pm

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Qu’est-ce que c’est le point? As Georgia Nicolson might say (I haven’t seen the film but the books are excellent.)

I spend a lot of my time designing user interfaces to be as usable, easy on the eye and generally as elegant as possible so I tend to notice other peoples idiocies and (very occasionally) other peoples genius.

The harmonica is an example of both (sort of). To get a major scale from hole 4 it goes:

blow, suck,

blow, suck,

blow, suck,

… suck, blow.

Doh! Let’s just make it complicated shall we? But it is actually a piece of genius. Why everyone thinks they can play the harmonica is because where ever you blow not only is every note in the same scale EVERY 3 adjacent holes form a major triad of that scale (the root chord). Brilliant, every note fits in with the scale and if you (deliberately or accidentally) get more than one hole it harmonizes with itself! How can you go wrong?

Well obviously getting the right notes to any particular tune still requires a bit of skill - the clever thing is the wrong notes still sound OK(ish).

And then it all goes wrong. People are just perverse. The harmonica contains all the notes that you need of the major scale which accounts for most “traditional” western music. The blues scale is different, you need different notes so blues and rock players play “cross harp” - they take a C harmonica, bend a load of the notes (by sucking “wrong”) and play in a G blues scale. Even if you gave them a harmonica with the right notes for the blues scale it wouldn’t work because the bending is what gives that beautiful distorted sound and allows you to play a bit “off key” for bluesy dissonance and tension.

So great design but Qu’est-ce que c’est le point?

NB This all refers to a 10 hole diatonic harmonica - they do make all sorts but this is the common one!

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Who’s been using my credit card?

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in Men and Women, Home, Security, e-commerce, Uncategorized on July 14, 2008 at 9:08 am

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Too much security? I’m always complaining about it - however unless my wife has really spent £160 on XBox games like Metal Gear Solid (or something like that) then I may have to slightly change that to - Too little security, I’ve always said so.

It would be typical if if my wife’s card had been cloned / abused / whatever (what do I mean “if”, do I really think she’s got an Xbox stashed in the wardrobe? All those shoes are just a false lid to her gaming haven?) as she is always shredding innocent details (I keep saying “your name & address is in the phone book”, “yes it’s a receipt that has 4 digits of your card on but no one can use it”) and warning her aged P’s to look after their details. In fact we spent last night shredding years worth of her mum’s financial records. She still leaves a check on the step for the milkman though - name, address, bank details!

Anyway looks like we’ve got to spend hours on the phone getting it sorted :-(

I’ve got to decide what outcome I want here, do I want it to be stolen card details? Hmm, which is going to be cheaper - a ripped off credit card or marriage counselling and gaming addiction counselling?

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Noahs Blog

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in Funny, faith, Blogs on July 10, 2008 at 9:43 am

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Blogs, they are a bit weird aren’t they? And I guess I should know. This is one quite amusing…

Noahs Blog | Wittenburg Door

even if this one isn’t - if you see what I mean!

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Sat Nag

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in Funny, Men and Women on July 8, 2008 at 8:35 am

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http://iwantoneofthose.com/shop.do?pID=1596 

Scroll down and click on the image half way down the page to hear some samples!

It made me laugh but I am amused by a little gender stereotyping - of either, or preferably both, genders.

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When compromise goes bad…

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in faith, Men and Women on July 7, 2008 at 12:47 pm

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I’ve always been keen on compromise. It seems a grown up way to settle things and admits everyone may have a bit of the truth. Consequently I have quite admired the way the Church of England have held it together over the ordination of women. Obviously I have ridiculed them a (un)fair bit too. The truth is so easy to see here (though some may see if differently!) and most of the opponents seem to go out of their way to make themselves targets. If there is a media equivalent of wearing a sign saying “kick me” it must be something like defending the power base of the status quo in plumy accent whilst sounding arrogant and hard done by at the same time. If you can do it about the unsuitability of woman kind whilst dressed in an outrageous frock all the better.
However, if you devote your life to promoting a faith within an organisation and the organisation moves the faith out from under you I have some sympathy.  So I did quite admire the deal done that said a faith that encompasses the ordination of women and one that doesn’t are  both valid within the Anglican communion. All those who had signed up under the old regime could work out there time without having to move their faith whilst (parts of) the church could move on.
All very good, I thought, before this weekend, when I found that my friend is training for ordination alongside people who aren’t going to accept her ordination. Yes, the mad lot are still taking on new priests who won’t accept the ordination of women. Der, an accommodation for those already there is a nice move. The problem will work itself out in a generation (a long time when it is your generation but short in church or world history). To continue to take people on… But I guess that was part of the compromise, if you accept that their view is valid then how can you deny new people with that belief?
Fortunately faith has a lot more going on than church politics, unfortunately the politics not only gets in the way it gets most of the headlines.

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Dress Code

By Dave F in Reader

Posted in Men and Women, the company, Home, Blogs, Uncategorized on July 2, 2008 at 4:45 pm

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I’m becoming obsessed with clothing. Having blogged about my new company shirt http://www.itpro.co.uk/blogs/davef/2008/06/23/is-my-career-static/ I’m now going to tell you about the latest company dress code. We are to “dress appropriately to the environment” and must not wear various unsuitable items including “strapless tops”, “sports wear” and anything with “an offensive logo”.
Wasn’t it easier when we came to work in suits and ties? And the ties didn’t have Homer Simpson on them. Yes I know the women didn’t (all) wear suits and ties but deciding what to wear was just one of the many struggles women had that blokes didn’t. In the interests of equality why didn’t they adopt a uniform instead of making men decide too?
Anyway, how does this new dress code affect me?
My jumper doesn’t have straps - does that make it strapless?
My company shirt is sporty and has a potentially offensive logo (viz the company one) so that’s definitely out.
Given that I work in my cellar and a cellar is almost a dungeon what would be appropriate to the environment? I guess it might well have an excess of straps (and buckles and studs).
However, given that I was running a bit late and decided to check my mail & then make a coffee and finish dressing afterwards I found myself reading the dress code in my night attire and deciding that it was perfectly appropriate to the environment - until I get a webcam.
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