Jesus Phone does not perform miracles
By Davey Winder in Editorial
Posted in Blog, Mobile Phones, Apple on
Although the iPhone 3G battery, according to many bloggers, lasts for around 5 hours absolute max before shrugging its shoulders and departing this world. So the question is, how long can you talk to your Jesus Phone before it dies on you?
The old iPhone wasn’t too bad when it came to battery life, I mean most of us can get by on 8 hours or so. The situation is starting to look very different for the iPhone 3G, with its greater demands on power it looks like 5 hours is the most you can get. Now I don’t know about you, but I rather like to make it through a working day without having to recharge a mobile device.
Otherwise it becomes rather less than mobile in my book.
The problem, of course, comes down to what you expect of your iPhone. The trouble being that if you have been romanced by those Apple adverts that promise all the Internet you can eat, and all of it right this second, then you’ll be expecting too much.
The 3G data access, the GPS location stuff, the full colour games play, it is all too much.
Whereas a typical smartphone gets plenty of use out of its additional functionality when compared to a typical dumb-mobile for want of a better description, the iPhone 3G ups the stakes once more it would seem. People are treating it like a mobile games console, a portable satnav and a mini-laptop, all the time, all at once.
And then wondering why the battery gets buggered so quickly?
Jeez, it might be known as the Jesus Phone but it cannot perform miracles.
It has been suggested that multi-core processors are the way forward for Apple, providing the power when needed and being able to save it when not doing much other than making phone calls (remember them?). However, I think the solution is much simpler: educate iPhone 3G users so that they start to appreciate that if you want everything all of the time then there has to be a cost. As far as the iPhone 3G is concerned, that cost is battery life, so get over it already.
Just out of interest though, what is the longest you have got out of your Jesus Phone under heavy usage? Can anyone beat the 5 hours max, or maybe set a new record for the shortest battery life?
Big Brother Apple
By Davey Winder in Editorial
Look, I make no bones about it, I have grown to like the iPhone but Apple has left me feeling pretty poorly treated to the core. I mean, the whole version 2 software upgrade lockout thing and the MobileMe storm in the computing clouds were hardly great customer service success stories were they? Then there’s this iPhone kill switch debacle which could see users applications, bought and paid for, switched off remotely by Apple for whatever reason they choose.
Yet nothing seems to be able to stop the Apple revolution, at least as far as the iPhone is concerned. The Wall Street Journal interviewed Steve Jobs and the Apple CEO reckons that sales of iPhone software alone will hit something like £180 million ($360m) this year. Jobs even predicts that a billion dollars worth of iPhone applications sold is possible at some point in time.
Looking at the figures, or at least the numbers that Jobs refers to in that interview, it’s easy to see why he is so buoyant. Jobs says there have been 60 million application downloads in just over a month since the App Store opened its virtual doors. Oh, and made something in the region of £30 million for good measure.
But I’m still concerned about that damn kill switch, especially now that Jobs has confirmed it exists and essentially said it has to have such a thing in case a malicious application managed to get itself distributed through the App Store and onto users iPhones.
Uh huh, really Steve, is that right? Can Apple really get away with anything because its kit looks so damn sexy? Seems that way. Can you imagine the fury that would be unleashed if Ballmer was to announce a kill switch in Vista that allowed Microsoft to remotely deactivate the software you had plaid for and installed, for your own good…
Steve Jobs is not dead
By Davey Winder in Editorial
There, I have said it. Steve Jobs is not dead. The Fake Steve Jobs is dead or at least the character has been buried, the man behind The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog is doing just fine, by the way.
Now you might wonder why I care about either of them, and while I have no wish to see either shake off their respective mortal coils the truth is I don’t.
So why mention it at all? Good question, and one that I have been asking myself a lot over the last few days as the blogosphere has verily exploded with rumour and speculation surrounding the health of Steve Jobs. In fact, I am going to take the unusual step of not linking to any of the sources as there are just so many you might as well go Google for yourself. If you must.
It is all rooted in two things: the fact that Jobs was diagnosed in 2004 with pancreatic cancer which he survived, and the fact that Apple is such a hot potato right now. Not just because of the iPhone 3G launch, but because it has gone so spectacularly pear shaped in so many ways.
Combine these two things with the fact that apparently Jobs looked a little thin and peaky recently, and all of a sudden the money men are interested.
After all, what would Apple do, or more to the point how would Apple perform, if Jobs was no longer at the helm?
Morbid, yes. Understandable, maybe. Preventable, not on your nelly. The blogosphere is going to run and run with this one, until either Jobs comes out and says ‘I have cancer’ or produces some kind of doctors certificate or otherwise refutes the allegations.
While Apple continues to tell everyone to keep their collective noses out of the personal affairs of the CEO, however, the speculation will only continue. And that, my friends, is going to be bad for Apple I believe.
Too many folk, even in financial institutions and on shareholders lists, believe in the no smoke without fire routine. After all, Jobs did not reveal his earlier cancer scare for nine months and investors may be worried this is history repeating itself.
It shouldn’t make any difference, of course. But Apple is Steve Jobs, and Steve Jobs is Apple. There is no getting away from that. Just as Daniel Lyons might find life harder, in terms of great public acclaim, without the Fake Steve Jobs so Apple might find the going tough without the real one.
I sincerely hope that there is nothing wrong with Steve Jobs beyond a cold or the after effects of a bad pizza, but I also sincerely hope that Apple gets off its high privacy horse and lets the public know one way or another before it starts feeling sick itself…
You can’t have an iGasm, says Apple
By Davey Winder in Editorial
Posted in Apple on
I am, like most people I expect, getting more than a little fed up with the naming convention that seems to insist that if a product is to be considered cool and trendy it has to be an ‘i’ something or other. I will also admit to having a shameful secret, in that I have a Richard Whiteley level attraction to puns.
So I was a little upset when Apple got its legal department to issue a cease and desist style demand against the Ann Summers adult retail group in regard to a sex toy called, rather superbly I think, the iGasm.
Now you might think that this is a straightforward case of Apple getting hot under the collar at the thought of a £30 sex gadget which plugs into an iPod, or any MP3 player as I understand it, and, well, vibrates in time to the musical beat.
But no, the idea of associating a sex toy with the iPod brand was not a problem for the old hippies at Apple. Rather it is the marketing of the device that has left them moaning for all the wrong reasons. This could have something to do with a poster showing the silhouette of a lady holding a small white gadget with a couple of cables protruding, one of which goes up to a set of headphones, the other goes down to, well we will leave that to the imagination I think.
Bizarrely, Apple seem to think it has the sole right to use silhouette images of people in advertising. There is something to be said for passing off, I guess, in that the posters are a rather vibrant pink and do give you that Apple feeling.
Only the most hardcore of fanboys would imagine for a minute that the naked lady with the “go at it hard and fast with a pounding drum ‘n’ bass track” slogan was an Apple campaign though.
It could be worse, I guess. Ann Summers could have opted to use a naked Mitchell and Webb in their campaign…
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