Nothing is rotten in the state of Denmark
By Mark Tennent in Reader
Posted in Internet on December 5, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Not content with invading Britain and France, twice declaring war on Sweden and having Bluetooth a thousand years before the rest of us, Denmark has shown that us Brits are, “for the most part, capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb-shows and noise.”
The EC’s recent publication of Internet usage in 2007 households and individuals here, penned by the fragrantly named Maria Smihily, lays out our shame for all to see. The Danes beat us at everything. They’ve even started to infiltrate English cricket teams for goodness sake.
According the Eurostat report, UK users are above average for most Internet-related tasks such as using search engines, emailing attachments and making web pages but we are lamentably poor when it comes to making Internet phone calls and using chat rooms. The oh-so-smug Danes are the best at everything, of course.
However, just because we are above the European average, the EC now includes such high-tech countries as Malta, Romania and Bulgaria who are fast catching us up. The rest of our more developed partners absolutely thrash us in numbers connected via broadband and data transmission speeds. Especially those with 51-day winter nights and a prodigious taste for vodka, such as Finland. They must need something else to do other than beating themselves with sticks in the sauna and driving rally cars insanely fast.
Comment by Jacques Daviault - December 5, 2007 on 9:23 pm
I’m not sure I am privy to this apparent cross channel rivalry between the U.K. and Denmark that your words seem to suggest, but you’ve framed it in a very funny way. I’m going to burn every last Hans Christian Andersen book I own, and hammer into a hundred pieces my 900-year old jewel encrusted Bluetooth card that I was about to donate to the local sailor’s home museum. In their defense of their unwelcome slighting of your wonderful island paradise, I have also read that the U.K. does not enjoy the same broadband data transmission speeds as, for example, North America. But on the other hand, Canadians are just now learning how having only 2-3 mobile telephone service providers has given the opportunity to pay more than almost anyone else… so I”ll stop finger pointing and my typical so-much-better-then-Mark attitude.
Well written Mr, Tennent, you should really consider a career in writing. And, if i might offer up my own guide to style and tonality… crank up the sarcasm and controversy even more… there’s money in them thar’ words.
Comment by Mark Tennent - December 5, 2007 on 10:17 pm
Hi Jacques
Slight problem on the Danish front. The title and quote are from Hamlet. I have nothing against those nice people from Denmark, just as long as my daughter marries an incredibly wealthy one who is generous to her parents. ![]()
Comment by Jacques Daviault - December 9, 2007 on 4:49 pm
Mark…
I recognize the quote as being from Shakespeare. Books and the ability to read are new to Canada, of course, so I am glad you pointed that out. I wanted to point out something myself… your last blog title was also derived from a line in another play by the bard from Avon. Is this a trend, or a coincidence?
Just curious… ![]()
Comment by Mark Tennent - December 10, 2007 on 8:29 am
Hi Jacques
Let me begin at the beginning. I suppose my words fly up, my thoughts remain below. What piece of work it was too even if nothing can come of nothing.
But what’s done is done. As for the title, what sin a name?
![]()
Comment by Jacques Daviault - December 10, 2007 on 1:57 pm
Is this a blog I have before me, its author before my hand, come let me read thee…
Now we’re just being silly.
Jacapulet
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