We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit ourselves to online purchases, for fear of treachery. As a remarkably prescient person nearly said.

If you buy enough on the Interweb it is odds on you will get caught out by some illegitimate so and so. We were, and it was the devil’s own job to regain our money. Luckily John Lewis believed our story and issued a new credit card. In retrospect, the firm, now ceased trading, had a name sounding suspiciously like Argos (who I am sure have nothing to do with such practices). They even tried to put through further debits on our cancelled card. If this happened with a London-based firm, dealing with companies abroad must bring on whole new levels of risk.

It took four men based in three countries on two continents to sort out a recent transaction. But this time they were doing their absolute best to help and no money was ever likely to come in their direction. This was for an Octopus with a Tycobrahe Octavia circuit. This is apparently something Jimmy Hendrix helped design and used in the 60s and 70s and my son wanted one for his birthday.

He helpfully gave the manufacturers’ details, two guys, Alex and Sam, based, one assumes, in Phoenix, where they build them with their own hands. These wizards can make your guitar sound like Rory Gallagher or Mark Knopfler or Steely Dan’s Pretzel Logic. They know the difference between a Parapedal and a Pedalflanger and would build an Octopus especially for me, gift wrap it and put a greetings card in. Except they couldn’t deliver until a month later than needed.

They suggested contacting one of their stockists. A quick trawl through their list their found Custom Guitar Gear in Philadelphia, with facilities for international orders. Bill was more than happy to gift wrap and deliver the Octopus. He would just contact his suppliers in Phoenix for a pedal…

Contacting the rest of the suppliers yielded no action until Alex told me he had just made an Octopus for a dealer in Ontario, named Axe and You Shall Receive, no doubt for some deviously Canucklian reason.

Problem solved, Scott gift wrapped the Octopus, popped out and bought a suitably cool card to go with it and as far as I know this has been delivered ready for the Big Day.

Would we get the same level of service from online stores in the UK? I doubt it especially as the companies above had all offered to wrap and deliver at no extra cost. As far as my son thinks, his new breadmaker (also on his birthday list) has arrived and I hope he has great fun with it.