Jeepers Creepers
By Mark Tennent in Reader
Posted in Uncategorized on July 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Sky TV may have grabbed more sport from terrestrial channels. Oh dear! How that will change our lives – for the better. As non-Sky subscribers we think they should also take darts, snooker, tennis, bowls, soccer, rugby, skiing, show-jumping, Crufts, horse-racing, swimming and athletics, but above all, the Olympics.
Let’s face it, the Olympics are bound to be an embarrassment. Following the stunning displays in China, Britain cannot hope to produce anything close. We couldn’t even open a new airport terminal without exporting all the ‘lost’ luggage to Milan for sorting out. Or build a suspension bridge across the river Thames that doesn’t oscillate in harmonic sympathy as walkers cross. Even the Roman legionaires knew to break step when crossing bridges.
My partner and I are busy learning foreign languages so we can pretend we aren’t British while the Olympics are staged. If he is still mayor of London, Boris alone will be bad enough. By then we’ll probably have a Prime Minister called David as Britain lurches right at the next election, exchanging the party of failed policies for the party of no policies. Boris and David gurning together on the goggle box is enough to give you the creeps.
Searching for creeps is a legal money-making scam… err… process called CRB checks, made at the Criminal Records Bureau. For some jobs, such as those in positions of influence over children and vulnerable adults and for some judicial appointments, an enhanced Police check is required. It is only a form-filling, computer-checking operation but can cost anything up to £50 and can take as long as six weeks.
However, a CRB check is only relevant to the agency who paid for it and not transferable. It is quite possible to join half a dozen employment agencies, each will have to do a CRB check even if there is one dated the week before but for another agency. The system was set up in 1997 but failed to spot the murderer Ian Huntley. Consequently a new scheme will be starting 12 October this year when another 5 million jobs and voluntary roles will need CRB checks.
In addition, ‘regulated activities’ will be included that will bar some people from a much wider range of jobs, such as working for the National Health Service even in quite ordinary roles as a porter for example. Employers, local authorities and regulators will have to pass on information about individuals who may pose a threat, or risk criminal charges.
Eventually a quarter of the adult population will be checked, 11.3 million people, at a cost of £64 each, or roughly £700 million. Nice work if you can get it.
Rated: 100% (2 votes)
Loading ...Comment by - July 13, 2009 on 2:54 pm
My husband’s an entertainer and was thinking about expending into children’s parties. He asked about getting a CRB so he could show prospective parents but, as he wasn’t an agency or whatever, he couldn’t get one for himself. He ended up not bothering with the kids parties. Missed revenue opportunity there methinks.
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