Last week, as part of my ongoing Palin-esque quest to stop in every cheap hotel in London, I made an error. I decided to fork out for the in-room web access.

The following day, someone took my newly acquired card number and used it to spend £2500 on online gambling.

Coincidence? I think not.

Thankfully, my bank has been swift to sort it out (although I wonder if they have much choice in a situation like this?), but a note to the rancid little oik who spent my money at the bookies: I hope you lost the whole bleedin’ lot. And got your fingers cut off by a madman bookie.